フレンズ シーズン1-2 音読用スクリプト (シーズン1-2全スクリプト)
What you guys don’t understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it. Everything you need to know is in that first kiss. Kissing is pretty much like an opening act. It’s like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out. It’s not that we don’t like the comedian, it’s that’s not why we bought the ticket. The problem is after the concert’s over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again. We’re in the car, we’re fighting traffic just trying to stay awake. Word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you’re gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone. Are we still talking about sex? Doesn’t she seem a little angry? She has issues. He’s out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet! Speaking of issues, isn’t that your ex-wife? How about I’ll catch up with you in the Ice Age. Can I stay? That would be no. Is this a bad time? How’s the family? Marty’s still totally paranoid. Looks like she didn’t leave in such a hurry after all. This is the episode of Three’s Company where there’s some kind of misunderstanding. I’ve already seen this one! Are you through with that? The swallowing slowed me down. Whose little ball of paper is this?! That would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn’t need it, so I balled it up and now I wish I was dead. She’s already fluffed that pillow. I just don’t wanna give them any more ammunition than they already have. We all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child’s pillow. Would you relax? You do this every time they come. The place looks great. You gotta beautiful lasagna here that looks good enough to avoid touching. You’re scaring me. You’re like all chaotic and twirly. And not in a good way. You don’t see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come. That’s because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born. Has anybody seen my engagement ring? like I wasn’t dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him. Hi Barry! Remember me? I’m the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family! Now I’m gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder. We’ll find it, won’t we! It’s going to be ok. You’re going to give it back to him and it will all be over. And we’ll eat a lot of ice cream. I’ll tell you what? Any diamond ring we find, we’ll run it by you. When’d’ya have it on last? Doy! Probably right before she lost it! You don’t get a lot of ‘doy’ these days… I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with… Don’t be mad… I gave you one job! But look how straight those noodles are! That’s not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagna. We’re going in. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective. How do you fit into this whole thing? Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I’m not comfortable with it, I don’t have to be involved. Basically it’s entirely up to me. What does she mean by ‘involved’? I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done. They want me to go down to this sonogram thing with them tomorrow. Remember back when life was simpler and she was just a lesbian. Those were the days! What are you gonna do? I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I’m still gonna be a father. This is still ruined. Martha Ludwin’s daughter is gonna call you. What’s that curry taste? I think they’re great! I, I really do. Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn’t she? They all had a thing for him. Why is this girl going to call me? She just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or…. I don’t know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant. I don’t have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant. They don’t have to know that. Could you come and help me with the spaghetti, please? We’re having spaghetti! That’s easy. Actually, we were going to have lasagna We’re not having it. Then why did you bring it up? You know how he latches on. I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me. What that Rachel did to her life…. We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well. I’m not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money! At least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar. What’s that supposed to mean? It’s an expression. Don’t listen to your mother. You’re independent, and you always have been! Even when you were a kid… and you were chubby, and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles… There are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I’m telling you, these are the people who never get cancer. They’re happy with what they have. Basically, they’re content like cows. She knows how much I like cows. I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God ‘Our Little Harmonica’ doesn’t seem to have that problem. I’m telling you sweetheart you’re going to be fine. This does work! What’s going on with you? Any stories? No little anecdotes to share with the folks? I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, here’s the deal. Carol’s a lesbian. She’s living with a woman named Susan. She’s pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby. You knew about this?! Your folks are really that bad. These people are pros. They know what they’re doing, they take their time, they get the job done. I know they say you can’t change your parents. If you could, I’d want yours. It’s even worse when you’re twins. She’s like this high-powered, driven career type. What does she do? She’s a waitress. People say we look a like but I don’t see it. I kinda gotta clean up now. You’re an only child, right? You don’t have any of this. I did have an imaginary friend, who my parents actually preferred. How long was I in there? I’m just cleaning up. You nervous about Barry tomorrow? Got any advice? As someone who’s recently been dumped? You may wanna steer clear of the word ‘dumped’. Chances are he’s gonna be this broken shell of a man, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it’ll be hard. I’ll go down there, and I’ll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN… You’ve got Carol tomorrow.. When did it get so complicated? Got me. Remember when we were in high school together? Didn’t you think you were just gonna meet someone, fall in love- and that’d be it? I never thought I’d be here. Me either. I was stuck at work. You remember Susan. How could I forget? She is familiar with our special situation? She’s very supportive. That opens my cervix. It’s fine. Robbie’s gonna be here for hours. Jason Greenstein’s gagging. Be right there. Be back in a sec. I dumped him. How is this going to work with us? When important decisions have to be made? Give me a ‘for instance’. How about with the, uh, with the baby’s name? Marlon if it’s a boy, Minnie if it’s a girl. As in my grandmother. You say Minnie, you hear Mouse. How about Julia? We agreed on Minnie. We agreed we’d spend the rest of our lives together. Things change, roll with the punches. I believe Julia’s on the table..? What have you been up to? I got a job. Why are you so tan? I went to Aruba. You went on our honeymoon alone? I went with Mindy. My maid of honor?! We’re kind of a thing now. You’ve got plugs! They haven’t quite taken yet. You’ve got lenses! But you hate sticking your finger in your eye! Not for her. I really wanted to thank you. About a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I’ve ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I’m an orthodontist. You were right? I mean, I thought we were happy. We weren’t happy. But with Mindy, now I’m happy. I guess this belongs to you. Thank you for giving it to me. Thank you for giving it back. What’s wrong with Helen? It’s not gonna be Helen Geller. We talked about Helen Willick-Bunch. Wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title? I don’t remember you making any sperm. We all know what a challenge that is! She gets a credit, hey, I’m in there too. You’re not actually suggesting Helen Willick-Bunch-Geller? ‘Cause I think that borders on child abuse. I’m suggesting Geller-Willick-Bunch. You see what he’s doing? He knows no-one’s gonna say all those names, so they’ll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way! You think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way. How are we today? Any nausea? I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but thanks for sharing. Lie back.. I don’t think I can be involved in this particular thing right now. Look at that. Isn’t that amazing? What are we supposed to be seeing here? It’s about to attack the Enterprise. If you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato. Then don’t do that, alright? You are, you’re welling up. You’re gonna be an aunt. Hi, Mindy. I hope you two are very happy. If everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids, I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose. I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now.