フレンズ シーズン1-5 音読用スクリプト (シーズン1-5全スクリプト)
Would you let it go? It’s not that big a deal. It’s amazing. You just reach in there, there’s one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. As far as I’m concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. You guys can pee standing up. I’m tryin’ that. You know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me. You know what I don’t get? The way guys can do so many mean things, and then not even care. Breaking up with Janice? Shut up. Nobody likes breaking up with someone except for Kevin Millmore, may he rot in hell. You just gotta do it. It’s just so hard. You’re sitting there with her, she has no idea what’s happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there’s the horrible awkward moment when you’ve handed her the note. You try to run out of the restaurant before she’s actually finished the note. Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling. If you want, I’ll do it with you. I think she’d feel like we’re gangin’ up on her. I mean you break up with Janice and I’ll break up with Tony. He’s sweet, but it’s just not fun anymore. I don’t know if it’s me, or his hunger strike. Does anybody want anything else? Last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolaty kind of a cakey pie thing. What’s the matter? Why so scrunchy? It’s my father. He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible. That guy, he burns me up. It’s a Mercedes if I move back home. It was horrible. He called me young lady. I hate when my father calls me that. Did he give you that whole “You’re-not-up-to-this” thing again? I got the extended disco version, with three choruses of “You’ll never make it on your own”. Being dumped by you obviously agrees with her. Are you gonna go over there? I don’t wanna seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. You look good. That’s because I’m wearing a dress that accents my boobs. You don’t say. What’re you doing tonight? Big glamour night. Me and Monica at Laundorama. You wanna hear a freaky coincidence? Guess who’s doing laundry there too? Was that not clear? Why don’t I just join you both, there? Don’t you have a laundry room in your building? I do have a laundry room in my building, but there’s a rat problem. Apparently they’re attracted to the dryer sheets, and they’re goin’ in fine, but they’re comin’ out all luffy. Forget it Joey. I’m with Bob now. Who the hell’s Bob? Bob is great. He’s smart, he’s sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor. We were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but talking too. You said let’s just be friends, so guess what? We’re just friends. Why don’t the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight as friends? What four of us? You and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, Monica. I’m tellin’ you, this guy is perfect for you. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet. This guy’s great. His name’s Bob. He’s Angela’s brother. He’s smart, he’s sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor. Oh, god help us. Ugly Naked Guy’s laying kitchen tile. I’m asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me. What’s going on here? You go out with tons of girls. I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Hold on a sec. You need not to touch any of those. Monica’s not coming, it’s just gonna be me and Rachel. Hold on camper, are you sure you’ve thought this thing through? It’s laundry. The thinking through is pretty minimal. It’s just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You’re going on a date. You haven’t done that in a while. The point is, is it a date if she doesn’t know we’re going on a date? Yes absolutely! Saturday night: all rules apply! So what’re you saying here? I should shave again, pick up some wine? You may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she’s gonna see your underwear-you want it to be dirty? And the fabric softener? Now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I’m a sensitive, warm kinda guy, like a warm fuzzy bear. I can pick something else up on the way. There you go. So what does this Bob guy look like? Is he tall? Short? You’ve never met Bob, have you? For all we know this guy could be horribly… attractive. I’ll be shutting up now. Where are they? This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us. It’s great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies. I don’t wanna do that. Here we go. Have a good break-up. I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day. That’s not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here? We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, the one with the little vegetables. They pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping and I got you, I’m looking… What did you get me there? I got you Bullwinkle socks. That’s so sweet. I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky,or, you can mix and match, moose and squirrel. Whatever you want. I’m gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte? I’m still working on mine. It was really hard. That hug looked pretty brutal. You weren’t there. So how is it going with Janice? Things aren’t going. She got me socks. She must really care about you. I was kinda using that machine. Now you’re kinda not. But I saved it. I put my basket on top. Is that your basket? It’s really pretty. Unfortunately, I don’t see suds. No suds, no save. Ok? What’s goin’ on? That horrible woman just took my machine. Was your basket on top? There were no suds. Hold on a second. This is my friend’s machine. Her stuff wasn’t in it. That’s not the rule and you know it. Show’s over. Nothing to see here. Let’s do laundry. That was amazing. I can’t even send back soup. That’s because you’re such a sweet, gentle. You must need detergent. What’s that? It’s new, it’s German, it’s extra-tough. Are you gonna separate those? Am I being like a total laundry spaz? Am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants? Have you never done this before? Not myself, but I know other people that have. Ok, you caught me. I’m a laundry virgin. Don’t worry, I’ll use the gentle cycle. Basically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole another machine for colors, and a third for your delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things. What about these are white cotton panties. Would they go with whites or delicates? That would be a judgment call. He is so cute. So, where did you guys grow up? How did that happen? I suddenly had the feeling that I was falling. But I’m not. You’re a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats, like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel. I never really noticed. Listen for it. Monica is great. It’s not gonna last. She’s too much for me in bed. Sexually. I’ve gotta tell you, Bob is terrific. It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight. You know what else? He’s unbelievable in bed. My brother never even told me when he lost his virginity. You can do this. It’s just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed. Go! Here we go. I don’t think we should go out anymore. There you go. This isn’t about you. I know this is not about me. This is totally about your fear of commitment! What fear of commitment?! I don’t have a fear of commitment! I’m ready to commit anytime! I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn’t anything I can’t do. That does not sound stupid to me. It’s like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? That’s all the time we have. Next on Ross. The laundry’s done. It’s a song. The laundry song that we sing. What’s the matter? It’s just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now everything’s kinda pink. Except for the red sock, which is still red. I’m sorry, please don’t be upset, it could happen to anyone. Except it didn’t. It happened to me. I’m gonna look like a big marshmallow peep. What am I doing? My father’s right. I can’t live on my own! I can’t even do laundry! Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn’t get his head to inflate. His head is like flopping down Broadway, and I’m just thinking how inappropriate this is. I’ve got something in my eye, Joey, could we check it in the light? Were we at the same table? It’s like cocktails in Appalachia. They’re close. She’s got her tongue in his ear. Like you’ve never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross. This is sick, it’s disgusting, it’s not really true, is it? Who’s to say what’s true? What were you thinking? I’m not proud of this. Maybe I am a little. I’m outta here. You want him, I want her. He likes you. I’m thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up. I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I did this, but I couldn’t stop laughing at your Norman Mailer story. Waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here. Here’s the thing. It’s like we’re different. It’s just my lens. I’ll be right back. I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world. How many of those have you had? Go to your happy place. I’m fine. I’m not fine. Here she comes. How do you do that? It’s like a gift. We should always break up together. I’d like that. You got the clothes clean. Now that’s the important part. I guess. Except everything looks like jammies now. We had this cart. I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now get outta my way. I wasn’t being clear. This is our cart. There aren’t any clothes in it. Quit making up rules! Let go! Listen, missy. If you want this cart, you’re gonna have to take me with it! Did you see that? You were incredible! Brand new woman. I could not have done this without you. More clothes in the dryer? Does it still hurt? What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I’m gonna do this. How’d it go? We ripped that couple apart, and kept the pieces for ourselves. What a beautiful story. Where’s Chandler? He needed some time to grieve. I’m free! That oughta do it.