フレンズ シーズン1-9 音読用スクリプト (シーズン1-9全スクリプト)
I know that I haven’t worked here very long, but I was wondering, do you think it would be possible if I got a $100 advance in my salary? It’s so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. Every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, which is actually why I took this job. You’re a terrible waitress. Really awful. I hear what you’re sayin’. I’m with you. I’m trying really hard. I think I’m doing better. I really do. Does anybody need coffee? You come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there’s a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips? I’m sorry about that spill before. Did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving? No, they’re not. Yes, they are. The Blymens invited them. You’re wrong. No, I just talked to them. I’m calling Mom. This from the cry-for-help department. Are you wearing makeup? As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model. I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman. What were you modeling for? You know those posters for the city free clinic? You’re gonna be one of those healthy guys? The asthma guy was really cute. Do you know which one you’re gonna be? I hear lyme disease is open. I hope you get it. You were right. How can they do this to us? It’s Thanksgiving. I’ll tell you what. How about I cook dinner at my place? I’ll make it just like Mom’s. Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps? They’re not actually supposed to have… I’ll work on the lumps. Joey, you’re going home, right? Chandler, you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays. Yes, every single one of them. Phoebe, you’re gonna be with your grandma? Yes, and her boyfriend. But we’re celebrating Thanksgiving in December ‘cause he is lunar. So you’re free Thursday, then. Can I come? Rach, are you thinking you’re gonna make it to Vail? Only a hundred and two dollars to go. I thought it was $98.50. I broke a cup. I’m off to Carol’s. Why don’t we invite her? Because she’s my ex-wife, and will probably want to bring her lesbian life partner. Is Carol here? She’s at a faculty meeting. I just came by to pick up my skull. Come in. Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum. What’s it look like? Kinda like a big face without skin. Yes, I’m familiar with the concept. We can just look for it. You guys sure have a lot of books about bein’ a lesbian. You have to take a course. Otherwise, they don’t let you do it. Yertle the Turtle. A classic. I’m reading it to the baby. The baby that hasn’t been born yet? Wouldn’t that mean you’re crazy? You don’t think they can hear sounds in there? You’re not serious, You really talk to it? Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice. Do you talk about me? We just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy. If she’s talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. This will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we’ll all talk, and you’ll hear everything we say. I’d just like to say that I’m totally behind this experiment. In fact, I’d very much like to butter your head. Did you make your money? Not even close. Forget Vail, forget seeing my family. Here’s your mail. You can just put it on the table. Would you just open it? You guys are great. We all chipped in. You owe me 20 bucks. Chandler, here you go, got your traditional Thanksgiving feast, you got your tomato soup, your grilled cheese fixin’s, and your family size bag of Funyuns. This is what you’re having for Thanksgiving dinner? What is it with you and this holiday? I’m nine years old. I hate this story. We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I remember this part vividly, I have a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they’re getting divorced. It’s very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you’ve seen it in reverse. I never saw this at mom’s It’s a yam. This isn’t a yam. Yam comes in a purple cans. They don’t come in these. Don’t take this the wrong way or anything but back off! We used to work together. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. I gotta tell you. You’re the best in the business. Get out. I’m serious. You’re amazing. You know when to spritz, when to lay back. You don’t know what that means to me. You smell great tonight. What’re you wearing? You wanna go get a drink or something? What’s wrong? I just remembered, I have to do something. Leave. So I guess you all saw it. We were just laughing. How laughter can be infectious. Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD. It’s just not the same without Mom in the kitchen. Just get out of my way and stop annoying me. That’s closer. I got the tickets! You must stop shooping. I’m gonna get my stuff. Will you just come in already? I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment. Look out, incoming pumpkin pie! We all laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that’s not funny anymore. I got a question. I don’t see any tater tots. That’s not a question. My mom always makes them. It’s like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It’s bad enough I can’t be with my family because of my disease. Tonight’s potatoes will be both mashed with lumps, and in the form of tots. I’m off to talk to my unborn child. Mom never hit. Ok, all done. Did you whip the potatoes? Ross needs lumps! I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions. Why would we do that? They’d be like my mom used to make them before she died. Three kinds of potatoes coming up. The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has just gotten away. It’s all over the news. Right before he reached Macy’s, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I’m goin’ to the roof, who’s with me? I can’t, I gotta go. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen? Almost never. Got the keys? Anytime you’re ready. Here we go. Where am I talking to? There is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage. Just aim for the bump. Here goes. I can’t do this. This is too weird. I feel stupid. So don’t do it, it’s fine. You don’t have to do it just because Susan does it. I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow all over the park. Did they have to shoot him down? That was just mean. Right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. Why are we standing here? We’re waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys. No I don’t. When we left, you said, “got the keys.” No I didn’t. I asked, “got the ke-eys?” Do either of you have the keys? The oven is on. I gotta get my ticket! We have a copy of your key. Well then get it! That tone will not make me go any faster. Everyone’s telling me, you gotta pick a major. On a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I’m saying, because, let’s face it, you’re a fetus. You’re just happy you don’t have gills anymore. You don’t have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want. I am not singing to your stomach. How’s it going? Here we come, walkin’ down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Did you just feel that? Does it always? That was the first. Keep singing! You’re my baby, and I can’t wait to meet you. When you come out I’ll buy you a bagel, and then we’ll go to the zoo. I felt it! I’m your daddy. I’m the one without any breasts. This is just really great! 5 o’clock, my plane is pulling away from the gate. Maybe you can take a later flight. There is no later flight. Maybe you can go tomorrow. Tomorrow is not Thanksgiving! If I’m going to try to cheer you up, you’re going to have to meet me half way. Not that one. Can you go any faster with that? I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math. Why do you guys have so many keys in there anyway? For an emergency just like this. Listen, smirky. If it wasn’t for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this right now. But I’m not. I swear you said you had the keys. I wouldn’t say I had the keys unless I had the keys, and I obviously didn’t have the keys. Enough with the keys. No one say keys. Why would I have the keys? Aside from the fact that you said you had them? Everything is my responsibility? Isn’t it enough that I’m making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? Everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I’m making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it’s my first Thanksgiving, and it’s all burned. Only dogs can hear you now, the door’s open. Here we go. Chandler don’t lose this. The turkey’s burnt. Potatoes are ruined. This doesn’t smell like Mom’s. No, it doesn’t, does it? But you wanted lumps, Ross? Here you go, buddy, ya got one. Don’t yell at me, you’re the one who burnt dinner. Don’t make her squeak again! The plane is gone, so it looks like I’m stuck here with you guys. We all had better plans. This was nobody’s first choice. So why was I busting my ass to make this delicious Thanksgiving dinner? You call that delicious? Now this feels like Thanksgiving. Ugly Naked Guy’s taking his turkey out of the oven. He’s adding gravy. Oh my god. He’s not alone. Ugly Naked Guy’s having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal. I’ve gotta see this. It’s nice that he has someone. Shall I carve? By all means. Who wants light cheese, and who wants dark cheese? I don’t even wanna know about the dark cheese. Does anybody wanna split this with me? I will. You guys have to make a wish. You got the bigger half. What’d you wish for? I’d like to propose a toast. I know this isn’t the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great. I think because it didn’t involve divorce or projectile vomiting. I was just thinking if you’d gone to Vail, and if you guys’d been with your family, if you didn’t have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn’t be all together. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked. That’s so sweet. Here’s to a lousy Christmas and a crappy New Year.